if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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