just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize