Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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