You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
