He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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