I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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