I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
