i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
