hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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