do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Is it penis luge time yet?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
