you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
