New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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