So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hippo gnu deer
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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