the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I've blown a few things in my day
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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