Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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