Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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