it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
