May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
