shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
