She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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