Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize