how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
