I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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