i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
