The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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