Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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