I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
