How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
