...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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