The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Green mimosas i think yes
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
