so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
