Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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