if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
