You just made me feel so damn special
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
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I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
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Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The ass gains better be worth it
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