My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
