Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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