Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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