Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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