YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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