Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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