On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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