I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
