I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
