direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
