I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
COCAINE IS GR8
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
