sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
