My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
