He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Randomize
