the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
