I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what day is it and did you see me today?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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