Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
