it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
