...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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