Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
