New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize