I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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