I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
