Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
