6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
