i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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