I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How drunk are you?
Completed.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
