You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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