You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
