Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
