My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
