things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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